*Break Time*
So I am taking a break from working my statistics assignment. It was due at 10:00 tonight and I just got a stats calculator (bc my teacher specifically said that I did not need one and of course the quiz requires us to use one). So I finish about half of the quiz and have all this anxiety bc I didn't finish it by 10:00 and submitted it half done and sent my professor an extension request, only to find out that she had already extended the whole assignment until saturday bc of the sleet. UGH. So its break time for me to re coop my thoughts and begin again.So I had this odd dream 2 nights ago that I have been meaning to get on here and tell you about. So I have this dream that I am in a house with everyone that I work with, all of my mutual friends, some people from church and a ton of children. It almost seemed as if there was a childrens church inside the home and I am not sure what we were all doing except some event that we were all involved in. The weather started to get really bad outside and it was raining and raining. We were in the basement of the house helping out with this children's event when someone says that the house is flooding because of the rain and there is no way out. The weird part about it is that everyone seemed okay with it. Of course we did not tell the children what was going on but the adults just accepted the fact that the house was flooding, there was no way out and we were all going to die and we should just entertain the children until our last breath. Kind of like a titanic type story. I kept imagining everyone in the house drowning and thinking "there HAS to be a way out of here where there is not flooding before the house actually does flood." I noticed that the people who said the house was flooding were disappearing and then showing back up and as they would walk away I would ask where they were going and the response would be "no where or ill be right back or over here" and I knew something was up. So I started searching around for different doors that might lead to the outdoors that would not open a dam into the area where everyone was. Well I finally saw 2 of my friends walk off and I followed behind them but in a distance to see where they were going but they didn't know I was following. As I go through a series of halls and doors I found my way to the outside where the house was not flooded but it was down poring where it would eventually over a long amount of time would flood. I am in the yard when my friends noticed that I am out there and say "What are you doing out here?!" and I said "Well I knew yall were going somewhere and I knew that something was up! We need to save these children and get everyone out of this house so they won't die!" and they said "This is exactly why we didn't want you to know that the house wasn't drowning yet because we knew you would try to save everyone and they can't all be saved! There is not enough time!"And I said "So we just let everyone die because we don't have enough time to get everyone?! We need to at least try and get the children out of there! We have to!" So after arguing back and forth they told me that they were not telling them about it and that was the way it was and if I wanted to go then I could go but everyone was staying. As I was standing in the yard, I was trying to decide if I should leave and save myself so I can live the rest of my life and leave them to the ignorance of thinking that the house was flooding which eventually would and all die. I wanted to stay just because I felt bad that I had found the way out and the others hadn't. They had not even tried, they believed the ones that said the house was flooding and it was enough for them. But what about the children? What about the innocent children that did not know either way and wouldn't until its too late?
This is the point at which I woke up. I could not help but think that this parable was something that God had revealed to me in my sleep that everyone around me is drowning and I can only be responsible for saving myself. I can tell people the truth and show them the truth by walking away. If I had stayed they would think that the house was really flooding and I believed it too. This may be where I draw the line between compassion for others and my own self preservation. I have a tendency to always put others before my own needs and at some point I have to take care of myself. I take on others struggles and problems as my own and can be run over from time to time. I will always be compassionate for mankind because that is who I am. It is one of my biggest strengths but can also be a weakness. Ok so don't think I am going to start being mean to everyone because you know that won't happen :) I just thought I would share that LONG dream with you and hopefully it added a little perspective to life.
"It's all about quality of life and finding a happy balance between work and friends and family." Philip Green
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