8:48 PM Es Elle 0 Comments

Some women choose to follow men and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore
-Lady Gaga

GAH, SHE IS SO SMART!

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Confusion

6:41 PM Es Elle 0 Comments

Why is finding your niche so hard to do? Doesn't everyone know what they are good at or what they love to do? I guess you have to decide if what you love to do should be your career or just a hobby... this is what I seem to struggle with everyday. I would love to own a boutique and this is something that I have wanted to do for a long time now but it just seems that it is not the right timing right now. So much time and money goes into something like that for it to be successful. And Lord knows that if I am going to do it I WILL be successful at it. But at what point do you put away the realistic ideas and go for your dreams whole heartedly? This means putting so much at risk and I think just the idea of branching out there is the scariest part! I envy individuals who just throw themselves to the wind to be taken wherever it blows. At once I did such a thing when I moved to NY and now I feel so structured since I have moved back. Almost like my time has passed and its time to face reality and what it's all about. Maybe if I follow this road, it will lead me back to that one where I can be free to do what my heart desires. I have been very contemplative today, maybe because it's my first back to school and I always question everything. I do have to say that I am very thankful to be living in the United States where I have the freedom to chose what it is I want to do and be as indecisive as I want to be. :) I have posted the song "Back to Manhattan" by Norah Jones that I love. This song always takes me back to NY and sometimes wishing I had done things differently.


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Snowed In

10:46 PM Es Elle 0 Comments

This is the second day to be snowed into my apartment and I can just say that I am bored out of my mind. I feel like I am beginning to get delirious. I have slept for hours and hours. I have eaten and eaten. I even went to the apartment gym to workout in which I have not done since the creaper was stalking me. All night I have shopped and shopped and shopped online. This snow has been great for the internet shopping but horrible for my checking account. I feel like there is so much I need to be doing right now but of course cannot think of it. I am sure I will think of it tomorrow while I'm at work busy as heck and have no time to do ANYTHING. This Auburn game is on and I can honestly say that I do not give a rats butt about this game. Good News: I was accepted to Auburn but I am definitely not going there because of the team (although Phillip swears I will be an Auburn fan before I leave). I feel like I have so much on my mind but do not even know where to begin. Doing all of this online shopping really made me miss my dreams of owning my own boutique business but I can only have hopes that still maybe one day I will. I just hate things have happened the way they have the past 8 months. Everything was so perfect. Why? Why was it not enough? And now "it is"? I can't just go back to that life and those dreams like nothing happened. There are scars and they are deep and I will have side effects for a long time. So for now I have to go with this plan and this dream and maybe one day I will be home again.

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The Power of Prayer

10:59 PM Es Elle 0 Comments

I have a lot on my mind right now buy I can say that through the long and I mean LONG day I had today that only one things keeps to stick out in my mind. I met a girl today that I did not know from Adam and she began to open up to me and tell me all of these things that were going on in her life and how she was struggling addictions and disease and family problems and she started crying and asked me to pray for her. She said "I don't know why I am telling you all of this but you just really seem like a nice girl and I feel I can talk to you, will you please pray for me? Because I really need it and so does my family. I do not want to die." I was speechless with the boldness and honesty this poor girl presented to me. Most people you know your whole life would not open up like that to you and throw it all out there and say "Just pray for me." It's so easy to pretend we have it all together because how dare anyone know that we are falling apart inside. I can not stop thinking about this experience today and every time I do, I immediately pray for her. She was not asking for my friendship or for my opinion but just to pray and trusting that I would. It is times like these that I do not doubt the power of prayer in someone's life and in my life. We should never cease to pray.

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