§trength

10:26 PM Es Elle 0 Comments

"You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart because, when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. you must practice staying strong, instead."

I read this quote tonight and felt totally enlightened. I am guessing EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Even the utmost insignificant smallest things happen for a reason. Every day I am becoming stronger and stronger and I love being alone. I enjoy it so much that the more I am alone, the more I want to be alone. It is so peaceful and easy to gather thoughts and surrender the mind. Living in such a fast paced and busy world it feels so good to just be. I have always thought that it is a good thing to cry and get those emotions out and that it will make it that much easier to move on but I have realized after doing this many many times that it does indeed open you up for another melt down as soon as 30 minutes! The stronger I have become the harder it is to cry even if I wanted to. I think you can still feel the pain of something but not react to it. When you react to this emotion, you are a slave to it and it controls you. I have had many 'tests' I would say this week to bring me down. Much to my surprise, I have not been moved. Yes, the pain is still there but I can no longer get upset. THEN I read this quote and thought "OMG this is so true!" The more I have broken down, the more I continue to. BUT when you actually pick up and move on there is such a peace that comes with it and knowing that I couldn't break down even if I wanted to!

This is just the beginning of what I know to be a great life God has ahead for me. "I can do all things through Christ; who gives me strength"

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Into the light...

3:43 AM Es Elle 0 Comments

Well it is almost 4:00 am and I have been studying for my biology test and I can honestly say that this sucks! I hate working full time and going to school full time* It is so bad and fully respect anyone who can do both and take on having a family on top of it all! You are a trooper! This didn't seem as hard the first half of the semester but for some reason I feel like life has just gotten a little harder since then. School really hasn't but just life. I can't seem to get my focus where it needs to be. My dear friend, Ashley T. has been such an encouraging friend through everything and in the midst of my studying she told me to listen to this song the next time I took a break. I can say that she is an amazing woman of God and true encouraging and inspiring friend and I am so lucky to have her. She always knows exactly what to say to encourage me through life. I will pass it forward in hopes that it encourages you †

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HmiQO6fB6Y


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*My Prayer*

10:49 PM Es Elle 0 Comments

Psalm 25: 16

Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have multiplied;
free me from my anguish.
Look upon my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.
See how my enemies have increased
and how fiercely they hate me!
Guard my life and rescue me;
let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in You.
May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in You!

Amen***

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*Contemplating*

8:08 PM Es Elle 0 Comments

Out with the wedding magazines and in with the school books! I started my first day of school and let me just tell you how excited I am! I know that it is going to be a hard and long road but I am ready for it. I need a new change in my life and head down a better path for myself. I have learned to not put anyone before myself. I am going to focus on me and my life and I know the rest will fall into place.
I deep cleaned my room, got rid of so much baggage laying around and thats exactly what I am doing with my life. I have been in a state of contemplation all weekend trying to figure what all this is about. I know I do not have all the answers but I can only take it one step at a time. I do know that I will never trust anyone ever the same as I once did. Its funny that the one thing I used to long for to have in my life, I actually experienced and now I wish I never had. I am on the other side wishing that part of my life was still innocent and still searching for Mr. Right.
I don't want a Mr. Right anymore, I just want to be by myself, perfectly lonely. Cause' I don't belong to anyone, nobody belongs to me.

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All Things are Possible

8:13 PM Es Elle 0 Comments

Well a lot has happened in the past month but I think it is all in God's will for my life. I am so excited about the new life I am beginning and finally focusing on myself and where I need to be.
I called a patient the other day to confirm his apt. at work and he expressed that he would not be able to come because he had lost his wife and had to work some things out and just as I thought that would be the end of the conversation he began to open up to me. He told me that him and his wife had been married to each other for 50 something years and he explained her dying has been "hell" for him and that he hopes that no one ever has to feel the pain that he is feeling. His exact words were "I think the man should leave this world before the woman because I think that women can cope better with these things. I do not know what to do with myself. I am a wreck."
As sad as it was to hear those words, it was also reassuring that there is still that kind of love out there. I mean this was many many years ago and it seems as the more time is going by, the higher the divorce rate is becoming and less committed people are or even want to be. But, I do know that God is true to His promises and all I can do is trust Him that all things are possible! :)

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Stuck In A Rut

9:26 PM Es Elle 0 Comments

Hello,
Its been a while, I know... just as it has been writing in my diary. Typing seems to be much easier so maybe I will be a little more consistent with this :) As you can tell by my title that I am stuck in a rut... now this seems to come upon me about every couple of months and I start to get really antsy and wanting a change. My father always taught me that change was a good thing and there were things constantly changing growing up that now it almost seems that it doesn't feel right if something in my life is not changing.
Well I am starting to do more research on the website and feel like I am not really getting anywhere. I know what I want but bc I am such a bargain shopper I cannot muster up paying the money for someone to do it for me. Plus I want to learn everything myself bc I want to be able to do it myself (can we say control freak?) naaaaah! ;) so as you saw I have the name and now I need to come up with a logo. I will let you see some that I am trying to chose from as soon as I find the ones I like! Now "Island in the sun" by weezer just came on and I forgot how awesome this song is.... ADD! hip hip

peace

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Exploring the World of Web

4:02 PM Es Elle 0 Comments

Hey to All,
I am new to the blogging, although not really because I have grown up with generation of facebook, myspace and twitter. I have been at home sick with what some might call the flu or strep but most of the time the doctor labels it as a sinus infection and to rest and let it play its course so I chose not to go the doctor this time! :) Since I have been home by myself for the past two days and wallowing in my misery, I figured I would explore a little in the internet world on how to start my online business. Now some of yall that know me, know that this is something that I have been wanting to accomplish for a long time but things always seem to get in the way. I finally have job right now where I work 8-5 and I have so much time on my hands after I get off work that I think this is my perfect opportunity.

I have purchased my domain name and trying to figure out what is next. I will tell you the short history behind my domain name. My name is Sarah Lawrence but through highschool and college have been called SL by many friends. One day I was talking to a friend, Daniel Furuto about how I was wanting to own my own boutique one day and he told me that he thought the perfect name would be SL but spelled out Es Elle. So there it is; eselleboutique.com was born!

I have been researching templates to use and different drop shipping warehouses but cannot seem to fit what it is that I have in my mind. I have found some templates that will do until I have the money to put into making my own. Now for the drop shipping warehouses, I cannot find any clothes of quality material and the look that I am going for. I do not know where to find these quality clothes online?!?! If any of you know, i would love some ideas! I am sure that I still have a lot of research that needs to be done. I am off to do more and will update soon on the trials or starting this business!

Thanks for Listening,
Euodia

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